“I’d already had your father when I was your age”
“If you let this “primal age” pass, you’re only going to get divorced men”
“Learn to do this *insert house chore* properly because you’re going to have to do it for your husband/family soon”
“Hurry up and get married because you also have younger siblings”
So many unwoken, cringe-worthy, and anxiety-inducing statements, such little patience.
Its wedding season and these inquiries are once again looming every corner of wedding halls and creeping onto you when you finally start having a good time because how dare you indulge ALL ALONE?
When I started traveling, I was continuously told to wait and do it with my husband because girls from respectable families don’t wander alone as if marriage was this pedestal gateway to connect with your aspirations and happiness.
Not only are these toxic questions the bane of every 20-something-year-old woman’s existence, but they’re also incredibly invasive. It’s ridiculous how personal decisions that impact others in no way suddenly concern acquaintances, relatives of acquaintances, and randoms.
I get it, older generations have been doing things a certain way for a while but its important that we keep up with times and take in the reality that more young women want financial and career stability or have the need to “find themselves” before rushing into bed with a stranger for the rest of their lives.
I respect my culture and the aunties with all their passive-aggressive undertones on wanting us to “settle down”, but the constant nagging only interjects a reverse psychological need to “rebel” (for me at least) or actually “settle” for someone we’re not happy with.
Regardless, if no amount of reasonable conversations and the showcase of charts of worsening mental health due to societal stress work, feel free to use these:
“Beta, when are you going to get married?”
1. As soon as you write me the check to pay for it
2. I’m planning to travel, not exactly sure when I’ll be back
3. Next week, you didn’t get the invite?
4. There is a women-only village in Kenya, thinking about moving there
5. I don’t know, please make dua
6. When I’m pregnant with his child (only use for super mean level 99 aunties)
Until next time,