I’ve been extremely fortunate in my travels to never be a victim of a serious crime or just general “L”s from life, knock on wood.

Even though I’ve made, and with no doubt, continue to make some extremely STUPID choices at airports, border controls, and with directions, I’ve walked out of these situations reinsured that there is some kind of pure presence of good looking over my shoulders: most likely my mom’s prayers.

I’m one of those “trust anyone” and “sleep anywhere” kind of people.

I also have my suitcase lock password written on the back of the lock. True story.

So let’s go back to why you clicked on the title of this article: to swoon in my misery. Also, I’m repeating pictures from this blog, fight me.

April 28, 2018

It was another Parisian day, the birds were singing, snails were being consumed, and Zahra was walking around taking pictures of every mundane bicycle-parked-on-a-plain-wall like a basic Instagram bitch.

Wait, there is more.

It started to get dark so sensible Zahra mossied her way back to the metro to get out of the city.

As she checked out her poppin’ #OOTD in the metro window, she clutched her pretty pink purse to congratulate herself on her well-matched outfit.

Soon, the train packed with conversations and announcements that resembled her 8th-grade French teacher yelling.

Satisfied with her reflection, Zahra diverted her attention to the metro map for 10 seconds.

!@#@!#!~!!!!BA-BAMMM!!!!~!#!@#@!

….Is that how theft sounds?

Anyways, I looked down and my purse was open. I hustled to look for my wallet. Obviously, it was too late, swiper had swiped. I got off that station with my fists clenched thinking the pickpocketer would just be waiting there to fight me.

He/she wasn’t, and I looked stupid.

I didn’t get my wallet back but I did realize there wasn’t much in there that I’d lost.

Here’s what I had:
– A credit card
– My health card (as ID)
– Around 50 euros
– 2 business cards (you never know when you meet Mr. Right and wanna slip him your socials, amirite)
– A map of Paris I drew on a lipstick-stained tissue

I used my Uber driver’s phone to call my bank and replaced my health card for free when I got back. I know 50 euros ($80) is a lot but in that time I had to keep telling myself that it could have been a lot worst.

I’d never been in this situation but I’d always heard stories of people being stopped at gunpoint or losing their passports. I was so startled at not even knowing who took it, I would have shat myself if I came face to face with someone who could cause me harm over a couple of bucks.

My phone was in my hand (because I vlog a lot) and I kept the rest of my money and passport locked in my suitcase. Off the record, a Canadian passport is worth over 30K on the black market. Don’t ask how I know.

So the moral of the story is:
1. Shitty things happen no matter how prepared you are but be solution oriented rather than play victim
2. Don’t carry too many valuables at once
3. Pretty purses aren’t always practical
4. Take pictures a lot so your phone is with you always (?)

Side note: I received an email from the French police when I got back home. They’d found my health card and wanted me to pay 11 euros to collect it. Lol. I Google translated “No thanks, cut it” and hit send.

Now let’s watch my cute Paris vlog to divert attention from this sad post!

I look back after putting this video together and I’m cringing at how cheesy it is lmao, it literally is the most cliche of the cliche. What is the most cliche thing you’ve ever done? Let me know in the comments below!